Ok, so since this is a blog about making my life actually, you know, better, the thing I decided to do today was join meetup, sign up for a meetup, and commit to going. The one I've picked so far is a comic jam - meet up with some people, draw stuff. Well within my comfort zone, especially since the group will be small and I will be able to do something I find fun. The goal is to maybe make new friends, or at least, do something so I don't feel so isolated all the time.
In other news, G texted me just now, saying "I am trying to reduce the emotional difficulty by allowing space. I'm sorry"
I responded with "It's ok, I just don't really understand what's going on in your head, so I don't know how I should act. Should I be prepared for you to say you are going back to your ex, for example?"
And of course, 20 minutes later, I still don't have a reply. What's the point in starting a conversation with me if you don't want to continue. If you don't want to talk to me, DON'T TALK TO ME. I kinda want to meet up with him again if only so I can see where I stand in a more final way. I hate this ambiguity zone. If I'm in the friend zone, fine. If I'm in the relationship zone, fine. If I'm in the "Never darken my door again" zone, fine. But being in the void between them is what sucks, because you can't move on until it's resolved one way or the other. If you avoid answering questions, you know what? I'm going to assume the answer is the worst one.
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